August 14, 1814   I have decided to return to the Institute to continue my studies. Professor Waldman has the finest of reputations and it will be an honor to be his student.   All packed for school. Still can't find my Frisbee.   August 26, 1814   Elizabeth and I spent one last joyous evening together before I set off for school. She let me hold her hand for a full thirty seconds or so.   At last, first base!   September 8, 1814   I arrived late this morning at the Institute. The fellows in my dormitory all seem like nice chaps. Still, I have some important decisions to make about my future. For example, should I pledge a fraternity this year?   September 14, 1814   My dear friend Victor is back from Vienna. The conversation was light and delightful. However, it suddenly turned sour when I told him that I had spent my summer digging up corpses from the local graveyards.   For some strange reason, he backed away from me slowly.   September 21, 1814   Spent most of the day on the quad thinking about the best way to transplant kidneys.   September 23, 1814   Professor Waldman announced that one of the cadavers was missing from the morgue and demanded its immediate return. Next time, I shall be more careful.   In the meantime, I need to figure a way of getting the damn thing out of my gym locker.   September 27, 1814   I got into a discussion with my fellow classmates about the possibility of creating life by sewing together parts of dead bodies. I launched into graphic detail about amputation and reanimation. Sadly to say, most in the room became sick to their stomachs.  Other than that, the Senior Potluck Dinner was a resounding success.   October 11, 1814   Victor seems to be avoiding me at all costs. Still, I manage to keep active. This afternoon, I played some wiffleball.   October 12, 1814   I have noticed that one of the boys on my floor has really good bone structure. He has an interesting sized femur bone.   Oh, well, better not.   October 27, 1814   I seem to have alienated most of my classmates. I've been dining alone for a few days so it was a pleasant change to finally have someone sit with me. I was joined by an odd-looking hunchbacked underclassman by the name of Igor.   I wonder if we have anything in common?   November 5, 1814   I'm not myself these days. I recently removed a kidney from a cadaver and it didnt bring the joy that it used to.   Igor has been feeling out of sorts as well. He spends most of his time brooding about his unpopularity. He launched a half-hearted campaign to get people to call him Iggy, but it didnt catch on.   November 10, 1814   Slept in the library last night. I had to. My roommate had a party and spent the entire night playing Lute Hero.   November 14, 1814   I wonder: What's the best way to clean a shirt stained with spinal fluid?   November 20, 1814   I've made a startling discovery! It was so obvious that I don't know why it hadn't occurred to me before! After years of work, I've come to realize that Im not British! As it turns out, I'm actually German!   Finally! I can rid myself of this silly accent and focus more on my studies.   December 5, 1814   Professor Waldman is becoming more and more suspicious of me. I must be more careful. The other day, he found a nervous system in my backpack.   December 8, 1814   I am drawing up blueprints to create a creature using only corpses. I have chosen a height of 7 feet. However, if that takes too long to build, I'll use midgets.   December 14, 1814   Little by little, I am acquiring scientific instruments needed for my experiments. So far, I have a table, two chairs, and a little bobble head doll of the Kaiser.   December 17, 1814   I aced my most of my finals and my parents will be pleased. Graduation comes in spring. I'm excited, but not looking forward to paying off my student loans.   December 26, 1814   Igor and I spent Christmas together. We exchanged gifts. He gave me a horrid looking sweater that smelled of formaldehyde. I don't know where he got it, but I daren't ask for the receipt.   In return, I gave him a shovel. His spirits seemed to brighten when he read the card attached; To Iggy, From Santa.   January 5, 1815   I have made new years resolutions to focus more intently on my work, create life from corpses, and solve the mystery of life and death.   Oh, I'm also giving up cheese.   January 7, 1815   Igor and I ate lunch at the cemetery today. He wasn't looking where he was going and ended up falling into an open grave. Good times.   January 12, 1815   Should I remove the appendix before bringing the creature to life?   January 18, 1815   Not sure where to go for spring break. The south of France sounds great. However, Igor says the chicks in Romania are easy, deformed, and hairy.   No accounting for taste I suppose.   January 21, 1815   I was detained after class by Professor Waldman. He is concerned about my experiments. I informed him about my studies and he warned me not to play God.   Somewhat ironically, were doing Prometheus Unbound in Drama class.   I'm up for the part of Zeus.   February 6, 1815   Caught! The Institute now knows about my experiments!   I had been hiding cadavers in the faculty lounge. Nobody noticed until yesterday. Apparently, everyone was used to the odor.   February 7, 1815   Professor Waldman and I have had a falling out. He insisted that I discontinue my study of cadavers immediately.   The fool! Does he not realize the potential?! Some day it may be possible to transplant the brain of one man into the newly crafted body of another and achieve immortality!   He called me insane. I called him an asshole.   February 8, 1815   After much inner debate, I've decided to leave the Institute. Such a move pains me. I shall miss this place dearly, especially the salad bar.   February 17, 1815   Igor and I have decided to strike out on our own. He favors a location right in town, but it's too high profile for me. I fear that the constant delivery of dead bodies might arouse some suspicion.    February 20, 1815   Good news! We've finally settled upon an abandoned castle. It's dreary and dank, but the schools are good.   I put a deposit down. (Note to self: I must stop writing 1814 on all my checks). Igor and I are in high spirits.   Igor seems like a fine fellow. I'm lucky to have him with me. Most scientists are saddled with inept and bumbling assistants. However, I think Igor has the right stuff.   March 12, 1815   Stole bodies from the churchyard this evening. Afterward, we popped into the pub for a light snack. I ordered bangers but was quickly reminded by Igor that I wasn't British. I settled upon some bratwurst instead.   March 13, 1815   The castle needs a little work and we're on a tight budget. I'm having some trouble with Igor. He wants to add a hot tub.   March 16, 1815   Grave robbing.   March 18, 1815    Yet another night of grave robbing.   March 21, 1815               More grave robbing.   March 24, 1815               Igor and I are in a slump. We decided to change things around a bit. This time, we dug up the bodies and then reburied them immediately.   March 27, 1815   The Burgomeister assailed me on the street the other day wanting to know what I'm doing in such a dark castle. To throw him off the trail, I told him that I have started a new business and was using the castle to grow gourmet mushrooms. He asked to be put on the mailing list.   March 29, 1815   I received an angry letter from my father. He doesn't understand why I dropped out. We have differing views regarding my career. I want to pursue my dream of being a mad scientist. He wants me to study dentistry.   March 30, 1815   I sent Igor to get us some food this morning. I ordered Bavarian ham with mustard on white toast. He returned with tuna fish!   That Igor! He's a delightful chap but he can never seem to get an order right.   April 3, 1815   Victor visited me this morning. He says Elizabeth is worried. He told me that he carried her to her bedroom and comforted her throughout the night.   I am indeed fortunate to have such a good friend.   April 7, 1815   I ran into the Burgomeister once again and he placed an order for a basket of my mushrooms. In retrospect, I wish I had thought of a better cover story.   April 12, 1815   Elizabeth popped in for a surprise visit. Hurriedly, I hid my collection of spleens. For some reason she doesn't consider them to be romantic.   April 15, 1815   Elizabeth is getting on my nerves. She's been most insistent that I leave my work. We argued a bit and I criticized her hair. I didnt mean to. I only suggested that a long white streak might work for her.   Igor is starting to get on my nerves as well. The other day, I asked for a scalpel. Instead, he handed me a spatula.   April 18, 1815   Elizabeth left the castle today. She wants a house in the country and a family. I want to reanimate dead flesh.   I fear we are drifting apart.   April 26, 1815   I finally placated the Burgomeister by giving him a basket of mushrooms I found on the floor in the castle. Unfortunately, that variety of mushrooms is poisonous and the Burgomeister died a rather sudden death.   On the plus side, I now have that femur bone I've been searching for.   May 4, 1815   Spring is in the air but I need to stay focused. Quite besides that, my allergies are acting up.   May 7, 1815   Victor tells me that he's moved in with Elizabeth to more easily comfort her. The quarters are cramped and she has only one bedroom. He is a good friend to make such a sacrifice.   May 14, 1815   I've received another letter from father. He wants me to focus more on the business end of my career and is suggesting a compromise. It sounds nice, but I really have no interest in being a funeral director.   May 23, 1815   I've been vacillating on this for weeks with regards to the skull; round top or flat top?   May 27, 1815   This project requires a great deal of lightning. So, I invented a device that accurately predicts the weather for the next forty-five days. Igor says that I should patent it. However, I cannot really find any practical business use for such a device.   May 28, 1815   A couple of villagers with fiery torches visited the castle this evening. They asked to come in but they refused to put out their torches. I declined on the grounds that I don't allow smoking in my house.   June 2, 1815   I managed to keep a human heart beating for 5 days straight. It ceased to beat at 9:35 this evening which is fine by me. The noise was keeping me up at night.   June 4, 1815   In a slump again. For a change of pace, I rearranged the dungeon.   June 10, 1815   I'm having difficulty deciding where to put the electrodes. My first choice is to put the two bolts on his forehead. I thought of painting them brown to make them look like eyebrows, but its just not singing to me.   June 13, 1815   The face is starting to take shape but it still needs something. More scars perhaps?   June 22, 1815   Elizabeth is off on a jaunt with Victor. Apparently, they're vacationing in France and sharing a hotel room.   I'm starting to have doubts about our relationship.   June 25, 1815   I am making plans for the creature's education. Igor thinks we should lock it up in darkness with heavy chains and tease it with torches. I'm leaning more towards the Montessori method.   In any case, it's good to see that we are in full agreement about home schooling.   June 28, 1815   Professor Waldman came by to visit. He is concerned that I am losing grip on reality and that what I am doing is blasphemy. He ranted against everything I was attempting.   He called me mad. I called him a douchebag.   July 6, 1815   I am having some equipment trouble today. Luckily, I bought the extended warranty. One of the devices I am working with puzzles me however. It gives off sparks and makes an electrical whirring noise.   I have no freaking idea what it does.   July 14, 1815   Against my better judgment, I've decided to put the bolts in the neck rather than the forehead. I briefly toyed with the idea of putting them in the thighs. But, if the tailoring isn't right, they might chafe.   I've also decided to go with a flat head rather than a round one. And yes, I'm putting the nose back in the middle of his face where it belongs. Putting it on his left elbow was an impractical whim.   August 17, 1815   The villagers were back at my door again. They've been in a bad mood ever since the Burgomeister died. They demanded entry. From the parapet, Igor poured a pot of boiling oil on them. Things seemed to quiet down after that.   August 29, 1815   I'm almost at the end of my experiment. Igor and I decided to throw ourselves a little party. I sent him into town for party hats and balloons. Strangely, he returned with golf balls and a jackhammer.   Oh, that Igor, he'll never change!   September 4, 1815   After months of hard work, everything is finally coming together. Soon, I will bring my creature to life.  Once the brain is in, its a rather simple matter of jolting the creature with electricity. After that, I will have created life!   All I'm waiting on right now is for Igor to return with a brain. I have every confidence that he'll return with a good one.   I wonder what is taking him so long?